Murder and Crime: Welcome to the News

  Greetings! This is FlyTrapMan! I’m reporting from NBBN. This evening someone broke into Sal’s Liquor & Smokes. Gunshots were fired, but no one was injured. Police arrived on the scene, but the suspect killed himself. A woman was stabbed in an alley way near Bank Street around 10:31 pm. Her body was discovered byContinue reading “Murder and Crime: Welcome to the News”

Open Letter: America Stop Being A Pussy!

Better strap yourselves in for this one boys and gals; it’s going to be a long and bumpy ride. There’s an ongoing trend in America—blame everyone else for your problems. This ever-growing pussification happening in the states (first observed by George Carlin) is an avalanche I fear is never going to stop. This…wussness is inflictingContinue reading “Open Letter: America Stop Being A Pussy!”

Saltless Saltines Suck

Hunger led me on a short leash to the kitchen a few days ago. I opened the cabinets and what did I see? A box of saltines! Opening the cardboard sarcophagus and retrieving one of the four plastic spires-I split it open, ignoring the first few that are busted. I get to chewing on aContinue reading “Saltless Saltines Suck”