No Money Astronomy: Remastered Edition

  Everyone knows you made the naughty list—a lump of coal ripped a hole in your stocking. You may have enough sedimentary rocks to keep warm during the winter, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be jolly, cheerful or merry. Santa’s elves screwed you over, however, there’s still one more present underneath the tree and itContinue reading “No Money Astronomy: Remastered Edition”

Mission to Mars: NASA Lacks InSight

  Have you ever wondered if the Red Planet shakes, rattles and rolls? No? Too bad! NASA filled their bottle rocket and flung a sophisticated ornament at Mars, just in time for the holiday season. InSight blazed a path of hell across space-time, and on November 26, 2018, landed near Elysium Planitia—a flat and lackluster regionContinue reading “Mission to Mars: NASA Lacks InSight”

Bloody Lunacy: How To Survive The 2018 Super Blue Blood Moon Eclipse

Prepare for a cosmic calamity—on January 31, 2018—a rare lunar eclipse will cause the world to explode into a million pieces. Just kidding. Do you want to see the 2018 Blue Blood Supermoon eclipse? Well, you better sip some coffee before the birds start chirping, because If you live on the east coast of the UnitedContinue reading “Bloody Lunacy: How To Survive The 2018 Super Blue Blood Moon Eclipse”

Darkness in the Daylight: 2017 Solar Eclipse

Daylight turned into darkness—the Great American solar eclipse shutoff all the lights. People all over America lost a little bit of sunshine, and if you were one of those people, please blame the Moon! The cosmic event inspired lunatics to stare at a blazing ball of fire, however, not everyone was able to observe theContinue reading “Darkness in the Daylight: 2017 Solar Eclipse”

Cosmic Headbangers

    Planet Earth was jabbed in the eye 65 million years ago—an asteroid dropped from the cosmic vault and KO’d the dinosaurs. The scar can still be seen today, just off the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula. Earth was involved in another brawl much earlier in it’s boxing career. Thea, a young proto-planet, deliveredContinue reading “Cosmic Headbangers”

Venus: Never Trust a Cloudy Planet

Never trust a cloudy planet—cosmic secrecy haunts inquisitive minds. Sparks of ideas electrify nonsensical thoughts, as they rise from the dark depths of our evolutionary bewilderment. We are hardwired to fill in the gaps with silly putty. Spark that lighter, ignite the wick, and straddle that damn bottle rocket: we’re going to hell Venus. UglyContinue reading “Venus: Never Trust a Cloudy Planet”

Mars Is The Worst Planet In The Solar System

Mars sucks and everyone knows it. Pack your lunch and straddle your favorite bottle rocket—we’re gonna blastoff to the Red Planet! The solar system is full of cosmic losers…pieces of rock, metal, and ice that failed to become respectably spherical. Let’s explore five more red reasons why Mars sucks the celestial big one. 1. MarsContinue reading “Mars Is The Worst Planet In The Solar System”

Solar Eclipse 2017: Great American Style

Daylight will succumb to darkness—the Great American solar eclipse begins on August 21, 2017, and like the name cleverly suggests, the path of the solar eclipse drifts crosses a specific portion of the USA. Certain parts of Europe will be able to see a partial solar eclipse, however, totality is only visible to those whoContinue reading “Solar Eclipse 2017: Great American Style”

…Are You Lost? Ask The North Star For Directions

You’re lost in the woods. The coyotes are hungry. You don’t have a map. Or a compass. Or a flashlight. Or a cellphone. You’re trapped inside an arboreal prison. How are you going to breakout and find your way back to camp? Shhh…did hear that? The coyotes are howling. Quick. Let’s get out of here.Continue reading “…Are You Lost? Ask The North Star For Directions”