Still Here

My neighbor’s dog wasn’t eating cicadas—it was eating…something else. I don’t remember going outside. Videographic data proves my senses are still grasped upon the fine edge of reality, because the sky appears not to be playing by the same old rules. What the hell do I know about such things? Decide for yourself. How muchContinue reading “Still Here”

No Money Astronomy: Celestial Navigation

  Celestial navigation can be a pain in the ass, especially if you have no money. The sky is unthinkably obese, which means our eyes have plenty of starry real-estate to explore. So much territory, in fact, our eyes don’t know where to look first! They swivel inside their comfy orbital sockets while our irisesContinue reading “No Money Astronomy: Celestial Navigation”

Night of the Winking Demon

Did anyone see the Perseid meteor shower? You know…I had great expectations. I really did! Shooting stars fell from within my wrinkled mind. Streams of golden light dripped out of a stellar studded night sky and exploded into a kaleidoscope of burning colors. Yeah. I imagined the night sky would rain iridescent comet crumbs. **SPOILERS**Continue reading “Night of the Winking Demon”

Random Rant: Cell Phones

  Hey! Guess what? Do you want know what I’m sick of? No? Too bad! I’m still gonna tell you—I had it up to HERE with cell phones! You can’t see me right now, but my arm is stretched beyond biological capacity. Yeah! That’s right! Everywhere I fuckin’ go—people have their heads down—hypnotized by someContinue reading “Random Rant: Cell Phones”

My Dirty Secret

  I have something really nasty to tell you. REALLY NASTY. Once I shed some light upon my grimy habits—you’ll probably think different of me. Oh yes…you’ll cover your mouth and will want to look away, but you will be frozen within the headlights of my filth. Wait. Hold on. I shouldn’t tell you this.Continue reading “My Dirty Secret”

Secret Photography Hack: Variable Camera Adapter and Filters

  Shhhhhh…hey…hey…yeah—I’m talking to you. Come closer. Closer. …A little more… …Stop…if you want to get any closer…buy me a drink. Or something. My secret involves a universal camera adapter and filters. I discovered a way to use them simultaneously, but don’t worry! It’s a very simple technique, which is limited only by your unrelentingContinue reading “Secret Photography Hack: Variable Camera Adapter and Filters”

Photography: Story of an Electric Friend

Most friends consist of bones, flesh, a pumping heart, a wrinkled thing inside of their cranium, and a pair of eyes. My friend has a plastic exterior, a single glass eye, and a sensor inside of its somewhat cubic body. My friend arrived in a box about 6 years ago. Snow fell from a puffyContinue reading “Photography: Story of an Electric Friend”

Mysterious Blue Moon Photographed!!!!!!!!

Did you get a chance to see the blue moon? (July 31, 2015) No? You missed out on something absolutely incredible! A blue moon is indescribably rare—in fact—it’s one of the most rare astronomical phenomenon in the entire universe! Every 700 years, gravitational perturbations cause the moon’s orbit to become highly elliptical, resulting in aContinue reading “Mysterious Blue Moon Photographed!!!!!!!!”

No Money Astronomy: Specters In The Night

The night sky is haunted. There are ghastly starry specters—soft splatters of ethereal light—glowing among the eternal dark. They’ll make your eyes squint. They’ll make you question reality…am I seeing things? Is there anything really there? Why am I talking to myself? It’s true! The night sky is filled with allllll sorts of things andContinue reading “No Money Astronomy: Specters In The Night”

No Money Astronomy: Constellations

So, what did you buy with all the money you saved? During our previous observing session together—we learned that the night sky doesn’t charge an admission—as long as you know where to look. There are bizarre stars just waiting to be seen and many of them don’t require fancy glass! Just those squishy optics insideContinue reading “No Money Astronomy: Constellations”