Category Archives: Parody

Self-help Tactics: Nowhere to Run

You’re fed up and can’t take it anymore. You packed your bags. Don’t have time to say goodbye. That’s all fine and dandy, however, there’s just one problem—you’re carrying to much baggage, and it’s not your lovely suitcases, either. The baggage is tucked deep inside your dark soul. Do you think your environment is theContinue reading “Self-help Tactics: Nowhere to Run”

Self-help Tactics: Tie Your Shoes

  Watch out! You’re gonna fall flat on your nose, and it’s because you neglected to tie your fashionable Reeboks. Cruddy shoelaces flapping all over the concrete—one wrong step and you’ll topple like a Jenga tower, my wobbly friend. We often take our shoes for granted, however, rubbery soles keep us connected to planet Earth.Continue reading “Self-help Tactics: Tie Your Shoes”

Self-help Tactics: Open Your Window

  Is it dark in here, or is it just me? Your dank room is stuffy and it also smells like a rotten skunk. Pee-ew. Do you have an extra clothespin? I’m gonna have to pinch my nostrils shut. Thank you. A dark room demotivates our soul, and also casts an intrusive shadow on ourContinue reading “Self-help Tactics: Open Your Window”

Self-help Tactics: Shutoff Your Brain

  Sometimes our big brain gets in the way of our transcendence. We may feel like doing something but our crummy thoughts derail our motivation. Past experience anchor us in place—convincing us to never try something new. Shame. Regret. Fear. Pick your poison. Our brain can be our best friend or our worst nemesis. OurContinue reading “Self-help Tactics: Shutoff Your Brain”

Roman Romance Dating Advice: Flowers, Biters & Whips

Do you smell that? The flowery perfume of insincere affection intoxicates lonely souls—it’s Valentine’s Day. Open the box of heart-shaped chocolates and satisfy your insatiable craving. Everyone has needs. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference between a mosquito bite and the sting of Cupid’s arrow. Love is itchy. Roman Romance will tell you ifContinue reading “Roman Romance Dating Advice: Flowers, Biters & Whips”

Roman Romance Dating Advice: Vampires, Big Brain & Cuddling

  Did you come home last night and discover the milkman getting a little to close with your wife? May as well just hop along, kangaroo! Some people drink dairy and there’s nothing you can do about it. Perhaps your heart is all busted up. Yup. That’s it. You climbed into bed and discovered aContinue reading “Roman Romance Dating Advice: Vampires, Big Brain & Cuddling”

Are You In A Piss-Poor Mood?

This is how the scientific community defines a ‘piss-poor mood’: an individual infected with a nonsensical, or emotionally volatile attachment to unjustified anger or hate. Hey! Wanna see if you’re in a piss-poor mood? Step right up, and take this simple test. Don’t be shy. No judgments. Your stomach tingles every morning, and not inContinue reading “Are You In A Piss-Poor Mood?”